Tuesday, August 31, 2004
dun know what to say.... dun really know .... just becoming a loser... a real loser. what can i do more.... sigh...
has not been a good day.. no mood... went cycling for a while. while crossing the road, a bus dashed past a traffic light and caught me as i was crossing the road halfway. almost got killed. thank god there was brian to tell me that there was a bus speeding ... if not, i wouldn't had been around. Thanks bro... if not for u, i would be lying on the road...
finally realised how impt and quick life could just end. my prayer for the lord to be real is really true.
sigh... a bad day coupled with a near miss... haiz.
norman ran through the snow at 1:52 PM [comment]
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why am i such a loser... just a person who has no guts to face up to reality. just a person who hides in the shell. fuck myself ... just a person with little confidence in myself....
really cant face up... i just dun know why...
i missed going out with you... moments having a meal with you anywhere... the precious we had at east coast. everything we had talked abt. moments that i sent you home. missed every part of being with you, walking with you down town. strolling hand in hand wherever we go. the first time we met as a couple at rasa sentosa. the things we msged each other every night and at 2.24 am of 4/1/03, the msges we sent. the magical moments..... this relationship meant alot to me .... wanted to make it work out...
i had this beautiful dream. to be with u forever. wanted it make it stay that way. till now, i am sorry but i have to say this, i am still holding on to this dream.
but... willl it all happen again between me and u? will it...? i just dun know ... sob sob
norman ran through the snow at 12:24 AM [comment]
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Sunday, August 29, 2004
shall blog today... went to sch for the poly forum training. damn tired , later part of the day, went to the Linux training shit. rushed home to cycled down to east coast. smooth ride. took 35mins to reach there. met up with brian and his father at the jetty. then we slacked there till 10 plus and went home.
ARGh!!! the whole week i had no mood . really no mood.
norman ran through the snow at 2:22 AM [comment]
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Saturday, August 28, 2004
argh!!! the memories are still in my mind ... argh why why why? i just simply DONT know.... not really in mood to blog. too sad, too confused... the only thing i could do is pray. could i forget u? why cant.. why cant i forget....? ???????? ARGh!!!!
norman ran through the snow at 12:53 AM [comment]
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Thursday, August 26, 2004
cant take it anymore already... seriously i cant ... sad or happy to you? i dun know...
norman ran through the snow at 1:11 AM [comment]
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Tuesday, August 24, 2004
sometimes, being oblivious to the surroundings might be better. Living in my own world, filled with gaseous dreams and sitting in my own sofa. wouldn't life be better if we are living for ourselves?
life is kinda bored. people going nuts. not being themselves. questioning the life of singapore. too hectic? or just forcing people to be what the country wants the person to be.
i getting sick of singapore. frankly... dwelling in the past aint gonna help. how i wish i could slp forever... no stress, no feelings. just slp and live in my dreams
norman ran through the snow at 10:44 AM [comment]
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shalll blog today.. kinda sick right now.. lying on my bed.
just dun really get what happened.. just dun understand what happened to her... hmm ... ? pondering ... had been dwelling abt my feelings to her for the past 5 months.. dont know why...
norman ran through the snow at 1:03 AM [comment]
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Sunday, August 22, 2004
an post which i feel its nice....
Why do we have to part while the love is still
there?
Why do we have to cry when someone bids
goodbye?
Why do beginnings have an end?
Why do we have to meet only to loose in the end?
There are questions left unanswered,
words left unsaid, letters left unread, poems left
undone,
songs left unsung, love left unexpressed, promise
left unfulfilled.
In a relationship, one of the hardest things to
do is saying goodbye and letting go.
It is hard as breaking a crystal because you'll
never know when you will be able to pick up the
pieces again.
More often than not, they who go,
feel not the pain of parting. It is them who
stays behind that suffer, because they are left with
memories of love that was once meant to be.
At the beginning and at the end of a
relationship we are embarrassed to find ourselves
alone,
unfair as it may seem, but that's the way love
goes.
That's the bittersweet and the risk of
falling in love. After all, nothing is constant,
all changes. Everything will eventually
come to its end, without knowing when,
without us knowing why.
And we must forget not because we want to
but because we have to.
In letting go sorrows come not as a single spy
but in battalion. It seems that everywhere you go,
everything you do, every song you hear,
every turn of your head, every move of your body,
every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye,
and every breath you take always remind you of
him.
It's like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night.
Funny how the world become depopulated
when only one person is missing.
Just imagine, there are four billion people on earth
and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty without
the other.
I don't know if it's worth calling an art,
but letting go entails special skills
sparkled with a considerable space and time.
Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on
our part.
Acceptance plays a part. Not all wishes come
true.
Not all love stories end with "and they live happily
ever after"
Sometimes we have to part because of
circumstances beyond our
control.
We have to suffer, if it would mean happiness for
others.
We have to cry temporarily, let go of the pain.
Every beginning has its end as every dawn has its
dusk.
It's something we can't control,
something we have to live up with.
It's over. He's gone. Life has to go on.
Goodbye doesn't always mean forever.
There will always be a place and time where
questions will be spoken,
letters will be read, poems will be recited in the
night,
songs will be sung in harmony, love will be
expressed in solitude
and promises will be fulfilled.
Somewhere... Somehow... Someday.....
norman ran through the snow at 3:16 PM [comment]
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Tuesday, August 17, 2004
the melody is still playing , the sounds are still so everclear.
its 3.30 and i still cant sleep
mind is still running like an sprinter.
the film is currently in the player.
loop after loop, it is still the same.
today is a day which i will never forget. not once has it slipped off my mind, never doubted why it didnt.
thats all i could ever think of. a beautiful picture with a everlasting sky. painted with perfection. sweet melodies serenade me. my ears eager to hear them. smell of red roses, touch of warmth. thats all in me.
norman ran through the snow at 3:31 AM [comment]
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Monday, August 16, 2004
shall record down this down on my blog....
today is my first unofficial race day.
let me start of the cycling trip. Went to ABC market for a filling dinner. Power dinner in fact. Had hokkien mee and strawberry aloe vera. Extra calories to burn off ..
headed down to east coast after that. cycled kinda slow. once we reached the east coast track, "light speed" zhou and i decided to sprint to the 7-11. En route to destination 7-11, we raced past 3 cyclist. they heard the sound of my michelin tyres and they SAID " why the tyres so loud? "
brian and wendell were behind and heard their regretable comments. so brian zipped past them. These 3 punks cut brian after that. what a fool to do that.
so as all reached destination 7-11, we grooved to the songs at the BFD? the bar next to 7-11. had made our way to the bbq pit adj to the BFD. Had 2 nice gulps to acc with the pleasant music. chatting happily till we caught sight of those pitiful punks (you will know why they are pitiful as the story goes on).
we tailed them to 7-11 and admired their "pro" bicycles with sacarstic eyes. went over to mac to lighten ourselves. So, when i parked my bike outside mac, i saw two of the horrible hooligans. staring at our bikes. sigh... what a thing to do...
so as we headed back on the tracks, all of us had the hunch that they are in the direction we are travelling. so cruising down , we saw them sitting in the middle of the track. I guessed they were waiting for a challenge.. felt so sorry for them.
as our "aerobics" clique cycled past their sorry asses, wendell happily cut pass every single one of them. Now as punks/ hooligans or whatever you call them, their "best" bikes started to pick up some speed ... hahah GTs in fact. just for your info GTs are bikes which are branded.
two of them started the race... sped past us.. ohz ... BIG mistake... at the back their friends shouted in chinese " dun race their lousy bikes". so i thought to myself ...haha eat my hind light suckers.
so i picked up some speed and just cruised past them ... w/o breaking a sweat. ohz manz ... were they lagging far behind. wondered if they were blinded by my lights. hmm they could not catch up with zhou and me... pitiful aint they? they could not catch up and ended sitting at some pavement while zhou and me just cycled with ease and laughing to each other. ^5 bros...
maybe they underestimated us ... or they were too confident? i cant help but feel sad for them.
so we cycled happily... anticipating another round of challenge from them , only to see them getting tired... and off we went chatting happily and riding home...
poor punks. i hope we did not make you cry.. just hope to instil to you guys that " just know your limits and dun play punk with brian. "
just happy to announce that aerobics team 1- 0 for the punks. You just got arrowed by us. OUCH!!!!
hahaha well, thats all folks. CIAOz
norman ran through the snow at 11:58 PM [comment]
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Sunday, August 15, 2004
hi peeps. shall blog something today.
went to many places to day. found the route to marina south with brian. headed to esplanade to find wendell. headed to town , fell on one of the stone thingy at the traffic lights. swell on my knee...
.... found out that i like songs which are EmO... look at my songs on the blog.. all EmO, slow and stuff.... heard the song which brian sent me... power song.. TaTa Young- i think of you.. the lyrics is really good...
norman ran through the snow at 1:20 AM [comment]
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Friday, August 13, 2004
had not blogged for a while ... so decided to post something...
like isnt a wonder how things could really happen in your way? suddenly, i feel useful to my sch and to myself. I got into the the second round of selections for Poly forum. Done proposals which i just found out that the power of English is really huge. Bogged down by proposal and marketing plan. Very interesting. hahah
cycle seems fun to me now. Love to cycle. very happy indeed. Feels very carefree whenever i cycle. well, i just bought a air zound 2. A air horn... hoping to horn the ears of some drivers who dont acknowledge that we cyclist are really moving fast.
kinda weird but i am supposed to take a physical test organized by the sch. Hmm sounds weird but i think all guys in RP are supposed to take it. If i fail, i will have to take up another module to keep fit... So now, no time to slack ... buck up and really exercise. Hahaha , i will have a nicer looking body as well as passing the stupid test.
so well, nothing really much to blog now. kinda sleepy. so THATS ALL FOLKS. CiAoZ
norman ran through the snow at 1:32 AM [comment]
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004
sometimes life is very fragile. Just an instant, you will be gone. Its really painful to see someone leave. it hurts to someone leave. No matter how much you want to be, it will turn the other way round. It goes unexpectedly.
norman ran through the snow at 10:46 AM [comment]
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Monday, August 09, 2004
camped home the whole day.. watching tv and playing game. Studied a bit for tml's test.
watched national day parade.. reminded me of someone when the choir were singing.
after that watched singapore idol .Kinda funny.. but lame as well.
now typing this blog before watching some movie on my lappy... ciaoz
norman ran through the snow at 11:14 PM [comment]
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super shag... waking up from sleep is like waking up in the middle of the sea... temper turbulent .... frustrated yet cant do anything except camping at home.. i just cant accept it la... why why why?
norman ran through the snow at 1:33 PM [comment]
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hmm... today was not a really good day for the peeps i know. Let me start the day off. Woke up late .. met up with zhou and brian for teh peng at harbourfront hawker. what a surprise to see another bunch there. Nick and gang.
went into sentosa via a cab. Cause the queue for the bus, OMG!!! very long. well, headed to palawan beach where we enjoyed getting burnt in the sun. MY face is currently burnt. sigh... skin dropping off soon... hahaha
went back home to grab my bike before zipping down to esplanade. wow... the fireworks were FANTASTIC. hahaha really, it was a crowd puller.
the crowd was definitely a bother. Got honked by drivers la, cutting through heavy traffic. something which i will never imagine myself doing. SCary but worth the experience.
cycled to river valley for dinner before heading back to esplanade area. Still crowded. So decided to chill elsewhere before heading home.
well, nothing more to blog abt. flipping through my newspaper now... ciaoz peeps.
norman ran through the snow at 1:53 AM [comment]
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Sunday, August 08, 2004
for the things he created, it created problems. But within the problems it created, hope was born. with Hope , everything will have a new benginning.
for everything that has happened, no one could change it.
life is just like a rollercoaster. up and down, high and low.
For us to ride, for us to share.
love is a great thing. No wonders of this mighty world could compare.
memories of the past hurts us like a broken glass.
locked up in our mind
bleeding in our heart.
love could not be felt by touch, only to touch.
could not be seen by perceptions
only to be seen by the 2 perceptors ..
Just wondering why this love cant last forever? just like how we love god? sigh...
norman ran through the snow at 1:16 AM [comment]
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Saturday, August 07, 2004
blogging at 5 am in the morning after a average cycle to east coast.
went to church for a combined cell meeting .Had a great time listening to the sermon. Very funny and also opened up my mind. hehe. after that, went home and got my ride and headed to PS to find the Aerobics Clique. ahahaah ... heard that mr seekdeath.com , the accident prone wendell fell again. Sia la... this time the wounds were even much worst. Super worst. hahaha
glad that the book really helped zhou... hahah
maybe i should have re-read the book "men from mars, women from venus."
ending my blog here. ciaoz peeps.
norman ran through the snow at 5:00 AM [comment]
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Thursday, August 05, 2004
really nothing to blog, except this... i really had enough .. enough is enough ..cant take it anymore. can't anymore
norman ran through the snow at 11:49 PM [comment]
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Wednesday, August 04, 2004
in sch, dun feel good. lost. I cant believe it anymore. i cant take it anymore. i need someone's opinion. .....
norman ran through the snow at 9:49 AM [comment]
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Tuesday, August 03, 2004
everytime i had done for you, is it enough? i just don't understand. WHy ? how come? i did so much for you during these four months... i could not capture back your heart. either you are busy when i ask u out, or when i call you , u just try to shut me out. your friends in the background even said it so loud in the phone.do you know how sad i really got? u know how it feels to be in this shoes. All your friends did it.Do you know how painful to even u and your friends saying it? it almost killed me. it doesn't concern me how bad it is, even that, did not stop me .
i tried to change for you. u said u cant change. its ok. u confessed to someone that u wanted to give up and you are tired. thats why i broke up with you. when i wanted u to be there to support me , were u there? u just said " there is nothing for me to do there". u know why gave u the reason... u know why now? u know u know ?
i dun know how much is it worth to wait for you. i dun know ... i dun know how much u changed. i just question myself ... why am i waiting for you...? i dun know why i am doing this to myself. can u tell me? i really dun know... how much your voice mean to me ? how much i yearn to be with you?
i really want u to be what we were . could it be possible ? could it ? everyday, i pray for a miracle. This happens . what more can i take ? sending the present to your house, praying for your well- being, really trying to help u.
and all i get, is no , no no ,no,no, no , no...;. is this all u want?
want to give up? after what we spent together ... 1 year plus. this is all you can tell me? trying to make a beautiful world for you?
here i am... tears rolling down , eyes getting red, heart getting slow, mind getting weak.... suffering in the shadows? the amount i put in for the sake of love . just for u? not enough. not enough?
i dun know why i am doing this for you...i dun know why i am holding on .. after what i got from you ... dun know .... its this reason which keeps me going " i love you deeply" .. good enough reason? u are only person that made me cry, laugh , happy.
its the first time that someone could really make me smile. make my life complete.... all i dreamt is really u. u alone. pushing myself to sleep. to be with u everynight when i cry myself to sleep.
if i said it once more, would i drive u away?
even if i hold on , when u will come back?
can we be possible again?
can we be happy again?
[no matter how and when the sun sets, the sun will be always the sun, never changing , never transforming, ever evolving to something deeper, hotter, greater and most of all , ever and ever.]
norman ran through the snow at 11:57 PM [comment]
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argh!!!!!! argh!!!!
norman ran through the snow at 4:22 PM [comment]
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wow... kinda of bored in sch .. so decided to blog a bit here. had a great dream. really good one. power manz... hahaha made me kinda of happy hahahah... well, dreams are only dreams.. hahaha
norman ran through the snow at 11:20 AM [comment]
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haha today isnt a good day. woke up late for sch. I am sure I will get a D for my grade again. When i got out of my house, i forgot to bring the proposal notes. And i had to go back to get it. THank god i met my father and he drove me to sch . Phew!!!
went to sch, could not figure how to do java... the usual case for me. slacked the whole day in sch. Nothing else to do. Went home and brian asked me to go cycling. Chiong all the way to his house area to meet him before heading to ghim moh cause he has to do something.
brian saw a chiobu and was kanna bastard by his sis.. ahahah what a joke... hope brian gets the number.. wahaaha... so the long lost twin brothers went on an exciting trail to explore and hit destination: west coast park. hahaa not bad... cycled up and down... wah the feeling was WAH
!!!! orgasm .. ahhaha we explored the route to west coast. en route to the park, we got lost and had to cut thru a drain area to get to the main road. hahah what a Joke... dirtied our bikes.. hahaha
after asking two cyclist where is the park, we managed to get there and happily spend our time chatting and crapping. enjoyable sia. Zhou joined us there and we makaned at the food centre just beside ginza plaza... hahaha then we went west to Bukit timah.. ahahha cycled there and decided outside Mobil that we shall head to town. We ended up at far east. brian was complaining of shagness. camped there till we headed home. The fun we had during the trips were power. haaha
hmm thoughts abt my heart. the memories just hit my mind again. wow.. it was really beautiful... hehe ... hope it will happen again? ehhe
norman ran through the snow at 1:54 AM [comment]
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Sunday, August 01, 2004
home now ... back from doing the proposal thingy. nothing to blog abt that.. hmmm after these few days of thinking, i still have feelings for u.. but..... hmm if u really want it ... hmm ... signin out now... ciaoz
norman ran through the snow at 11:30 PM [comment]
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if i could be with u , i will make the best for u. If i could be with u, i will know what to do. if i could be with u, i know it will be better. I will. not matter what it takes, i will be there for u....
norman ran through the snow at 6:07 PM [comment]
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got back home from cycling again... it seems i am really in love with cycling. well. Its becoming a culture to cycle everyday .. which i dun really mind. I could cycle from anywhere... to any place. Hmm today is a power packed day.
lets start by i waking up late for java class. Hmm kinda sad, cause i really wanna study to pass my java... so continued to sleep till 12 plus. got up and play the game online. after that went to church. I loved the service today... very blessed abt it. to hear abt the testimonials and also the presence of god is tremendously overwhelming.
rushed home to meet the cycling gang at redhill, and cycled to delta at the request of mr zhou... faithful guy... hahaha after that cycled to esplanade or somewhere to see fireworks but we were too late. maybe could see it next week.
after that makan at millenia walk's BK ... had a real feast there ... fulfilling my lil tummy. hehe . slacked there for a while before heading to east coast to chill at mac.. raced two bikers. but i think i still need more training. crapped quite a bit before cycling back to esplanade to chill. Chatting well, when the hit rate got higher , so went to the kopitiam after PS where the eye-opener of the night was.
saw souped- up versions of cars racing each other around orchard. wow... the sound filled the dull street. the gang was looking forward for the fast cars down the stretch. saw a pimp with angmoh prostitutes. wah.. could not believe it.
so we chiong back home after that... super tired.
sometimes i dun understand why i keep it... maybe i wanna make it perfect again. i really am confused.. i wanna really help you... i dun wanna see you like this. have to think abt what zhou said to me abt this. Thanks zhou for the 5 cents worth you gave.
tml will be a busy day, proposal, presentation, test to study. wow.. sounds like a interesting day... bring it on.... i will study like a nerd. do the proposal like a secretary and do a presentation like a lecturer.. well, thats all for today ... ciaoz...
norman ran through the snow at 4:50 AM [comment]
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