Tuesday, August 03, 2004
everytime i had done for you, is it enough? i just don't understand. WHy ? how come? i did so much for you during these four months... i could not capture back your heart. either you are busy when i ask u out, or when i call you , u just try to shut me out. your friends in the background even said it so loud in the phone.do you know how sad i really got? u know how it feels to be in this shoes. All your friends did it.Do you know how painful to even u and your friends saying it? it almost killed me. it doesn't concern me how bad it is, even that, did not stop me .
i tried to change for you. u said u cant change. its ok. u confessed to someone that u wanted to give up and you are tired. thats why i broke up with you. when i wanted u to be there to support me , were u there? u just said " there is nothing for me to do there". u know why gave u the reason... u know why now? u know u know ?
i dun know how much is it worth to wait for you. i dun know ... i dun know how much u changed. i just question myself ... why am i waiting for you...? i dun know why i am doing this to myself. can u tell me? i really dun know... how much your voice mean to me ? how much i yearn to be with you?
i really want u to be what we were . could it be possible ? could it ? everyday, i pray for a miracle. This happens . what more can i take ? sending the present to your house, praying for your well- being, really trying to help u.
and all i get, is no , no no ,no,no, no , no...;. is this all u want?
want to give up? after what we spent together ... 1 year plus. this is all you can tell me? trying to make a beautiful world for you?
here i am... tears rolling down , eyes getting red, heart getting slow, mind getting weak.... suffering in the shadows? the amount i put in for the sake of love . just for u? not enough. not enough?
i dun know why i am doing this for you...i dun know why i am holding on .. after what i got from you ... dun know .... its this reason which keeps me going " i love you deeply" .. good enough reason? u are only person that made me cry, laugh , happy.
its the first time that someone could really make me smile. make my life complete.... all i dreamt is really u. u alone. pushing myself to sleep. to be with u everynight when i cry myself to sleep.
if i said it once more, would i drive u away?
even if i hold on , when u will come back?
can we be possible again?
can we be happy again?
[no matter how and when the sun sets, the sun will be always the sun, never changing , never transforming, ever evolving to something deeper, hotter, greater and most of all , ever and ever.]
norman ran through the snow at 11:57 PM [comment]
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